The words, as I actually mean them
A Private Lexicon
Every world keeps its own vocabulary, and mine is no exception, though most of it is quieter than the internet would have you believe. This is a short glossary of the words you may meet when you write to me, defined the way I actually mean them: as matters of presence, courtesy and arrangement. Nothing here is indelicate. If a word you were hoping to find is missing, that is usually deliberate.
- Companion
- The word I choose for what I do, because it is the honest one. A companion offers company: conversation, ease, presence, an evening that feels like somewhere you were rather than something you bought. It is simply the noun that fits the way I work.
- Courtesan (courtisane)
- An older word, and a flattering one, for a woman kept for her company and her cultivation as much as for anything else. I use it fondly and a little wryly. It points at a long tradition of women who were good company at the table as well as away from it.
- Girlfriend experience (GFE)
- A shorthand for warmth over formality: an evening with the ease of familiar company, unhurried and genuinely friendly. It describes a temperature rather than a service.
- Dinner date (dinerdate)
- Exactly what it sounds like, and one of my favourite ways to begin. A proper dinner, good conversation, no clock-watching between the courses, the evening left to find its own rhythm. There is a whole page for it: Dinner Dates.
- Plus-one
- Company for an occasion: a dinner, an opening, an evening where arriving beside someone composed and easy makes the whole thing simpler. Discreet by design. See Plus-One.
- Incall and outcall
- Two words for where we meet. Incall means you come to me, to a place I have arranged. Outcall means I come to you, to your hotel or your home. Most of my evenings are outcall.
- Overnight
- An invitation that includes the night and the morning after it: slower, softer, with rest and breakfast as part of the same story. It has its own page: Until Morning.
- Fly me to you (FMTY)
- Travel company. You arrange the journey and I join you, whether that is a weekend in another city or a few days somewhere further afield. The practical side lives on Elsewhere.
- Duo
- An evening arranged with a second companion, by careful arrangement in advance. Rare, considered, and never improvised.
- Screening
- The quiet step where I confirm who I am writing to before we meet. It is a courtesy in both directions, and it is how discretion stays real instead of merely promised. I explain the why here: Why Screening.
- Deposit (aanbetaling)
- A portion settled in advance that holds the hours for you. It is what allows both of us to arrive without a single practical thought left in the evening. The figures live on The Hours.
- Discretion
- The whole habit of privacy: what I keep, what I never repeat, and the care taken so that a private evening stays private. It is the first thing I offer and the last thing I would ever spend.
- Etiquette
- Simply, how this is done well. The small courtesies that make a first message easy to answer and a first evening easy to enjoy. Rules earn their place here only where they add to the ease. Most questions are answered on Etiquette.
If you were hoping for something more explicit, you will not find it here, and that is rather the point. The vocabulary that matters between us is the vocabulary of how an evening is arranged and how it feels. The rest looks after itself.
When the words are clear, the evening is easy